OPINION – Preventing child–family separation: support before it’s too late
Families are often judged before they are supported. When difficulties arise, the question is rarely what does this family need? but rather what went wrong? Child–family separation is still too often treated as an inevitable solution, when in many cases it is the outcome of poverty, isolation, migration or lack of accessible support. Loving a child is not always enough when families are left to face hardship alone.
Preventing child–family separation means shifting the focus from reaction to prevention. Separation should be the last resort, not the starting point. Strong family bonds are not preserved through control or punishment, but through early intervention, trust and support systems that help families cope before crises escalate. When families receive help in time, children are safer and family unity has a real chance to survive.
In today’s context, many families face increasing pressure. Economic instability, mental health challenges and migration have made everyday life more fragile, especially for families without strong social networks. For some families, asking for help can feel risky, as support is still too often associated with failure or poor parenting. This stigma delays intervention and increases the likelihood of separation, with long-lasting consequences for children’s emotional wellbeing and sense of identity.
One crucial factor often overlooked in discussions about child–family separation is prejudice. Children are affected long before any formal intervention occurs, simply because of the circumstances into which they are born. Those who grow up in families labelled as “disrupted” or with limited economic resources are frequently judged not for their behaviour, but for the challenges their families face. They may be seen as irresponsible, difficult or lacking ambition, even when they are kind, curious and capable. These assumptions ignore the realities of daily life for these families and place unfair pressure on children, who have no control over the circumstances they inherit.
Living under such stigma can profoundly affect a child’s self-esteem and sense of belonging. When adults treat children as less capable or undeserving, children may internalize these beliefs, limiting their own aspirations without ever realizing it. Children in alternative care are particularly vulnerable: they are often defined by their circumstances rather than by who they are, labelled as “problematic” or assumed likely to repeat their parents’ mistakes. Stigma does not end when a child enters care. It can follow them for life, quietly shaping how they see themselves and what they believe they can achieve.
Very often children who are removed from their families suffer trauma from separation and most of the time, they don’t want to be separated from them. They also don’t want to stay away from home, especially with other caregivers or unfamiliar adults different than their parents.
Another critical point is that when a child is removed from their family, they must be informed about what is happening. The situation and the reasons for it should be explained in an age-appropriate way, because the child is the one whose life is being uprooted. Too often, children are left confused and frightened, forced to make sense of a decision they did not choose.
In many cases, children internalize the separation and assume they are to blame – sometimes because of what they hear from parents or other adults, and sometimes because no one has taken the time to tell them otherwise. Children are rarely the cause of these removals; more often, the responsibility lies with adults. Offering children a clear and compassionate explanation can ease their anxiety, prevent misplaced guilt, and help them navigate the separation with greater emotional stability.
Child protection systems often prioritise crisis management over prevention, investing more in foster care than in the services that keep families together. This disproportionately impacts migrant families, who face compounded stress from displacement, language barriers, isolation, and fear of authorities. Their struggles are frequently misinterpreted as neglect, leading to delayed and more intrusive interventions. Instead of practical, culturally sensitive support that strengthens the family unit, the system too often offers a default solution: separation. True protection should be measured by the ability to preserve family bonds, not by the number of children removed from their homes.
We need to support families to ensure children thrive best in safe, stable, and nurturing families this is why we need to support families with;
- Educational intervention at home,
- Afternoon homework assistance after school,
- Psychological support,
- Parenting assistance or,
- Financial support (poverty should never be a factor of separation).
Children need roots before rescue, support before separation and systems that believe in families before they give up on them. Keeping families together with the right support is not an act of charity, it is a matter of children’s rights.
About the authors:
Zeta is a Law student and human rights advocate. She is an activist with Amnesty International, regularly engages in volunteer work across different social causes, and is a youth expert and programme participant at SOS Children’s Villages Spain.
Martina, 22 years old, is a young expert and previous programme participant at SOS Children’s Villages Italy and now a university student (nearly at the end) in educational sciences.
Zacarías is part of the Spanish State Council and the Cuenca Territorial Council of SOS Children’s Villages as a young expert.
**DISCLAIMER: All opinions in this article reflect the views of the author, not of COFACE Families Europe**
